{ Booze Day Action } -- |. Thurday June 1, 2000 .| The booze day was just getting underway, when Hitman, P-funk, and Castar entered the doors of a drinking church known to the average man as TGI Fridays. Quickly the 30 oz goblets were filled with treats from the witch doctor AP. As Castar and Hitman fell into a drunken daze, P-funk was given full permission to curse and be as violent as he wanted. Insted he took a real likeing to the 3 kittens at the end of the bar. As the kittens playfully knock the drinks down P-funk was in a trance. So he was sent to call GNX, who claimed he was stranded at Delancy st and was ready to pull a fly whip to get home. About 30 minutes later he was sailing the high seas at friday's with a salty dog. GNX was threatening to smash Castar off his stool. P-funk was face down in a bowl of Cream of Mushroom. Hitman was living the CC team motto, drink the tallest glass until you fall on your ass. Soon after Kevin was mixing near lethal potions known as Grape-ade. The team was spinning out of control and the time was rip for P-funk to drive us home, at top speed he ripped the wheels of the Cadillac Sentra and attempted to hit 3 passerbyers with the car. 2 and 1/2 dougnuts later P-funk got behind GNX and tried to push his car across a busy intersection of Rt.35 and Burlew's bar. GNX had a fit and ran the light. Soon after P-funk was in hot pursuit. P-funk boxed GNX in a parking spot in front of his house. GNX then struck P-funk with the auto tazer. It shocked him with 15,000 volts, P-funk shocked us by laughing at the shocks in a demonic drunken stupor. P-funk's drunken state rendered the tazer useless. P-funk spun his wheel and raced home to HQ, where drinking and puking went on until 4am, at 6 am P-funk and Hitman left for work. Total Outing Time: 5 hours |. .| .|

{ Big Screen Dreams ! } -- |. Wednesday May 31, 2000 .| Once upon a time in a neighborhood close to you a typical Sunday was unraveling. It started when ghost faced team member Menace showed up at Hitman's house looking for some b-ball action. When Castar was called he brought attention to the fact that it was Sunday, he ain't got no job, he had nothing to do and he was gonna get Menace drunk tonight. Menace at first was very reluctant to approach the bar fly level. Castar cooked up a story about eating at Friday's where we would ultimately meet up with AP. Menace took the bait, hook, line and sinker. Upon arrival Castar skated up to the bar along with Hitman and Menace. P-funk was deep into his alchohol induced depression and was not in attendance. As soon as the so called meals were consumed, the liquor fest went into high gear, with Menace leading the way by the light of the june bugs. Castar and Hitman were 8 Long Island Iced Teas in when Hitman realized he was due at work in 1 hour. The CC team rapid fired 3 shots of anti-freeze and hit the road. Nearly 2 hours later Hitman arrived at work, with Menace and Castar two steps behind. As Castar and Menace nestled there way into U-571, Hitman brought in a neverending bucket of popcorn and sodas to wash down the butter filled treat. Not 10 seconds into the previews, Hitman stormed the movie gates and requested back up from the CC team. The offender was none other then Bam Bam Bigalowe. Bam Bam was angered at a slow movie fool behind the concession stand. As Castar and Menace approached the suspect Bigalowe, Castar was somehow blinded by his girlfriend. Menace was about to smash a right into his grill, when hundreds of kids bum rushed him for autographs, as bigalowe entered his theater he dissappeared into the darkness, and most likely fled into the parking lot through the rear exit. Immediately the Tza and AP were called and arrived moments before the next showing of Road Trip. The team filtered in and commendeered a row of seats. Tza was drinking a Captain Coke and AP was godfathering a brown stick. A few lads in the row behind got their eyes washed by Tza for kicking Menace's seat, Castar was also view attempting to make the kid eat his shoes. Somehow there was a strange lack of security at this point. Justice had been served Cliffwood style and no further action was necessary. The after party was held at a suspicious looking house to the break of dawn. As the CC team crept out of the lair the police were avoided and the domination continued the very next day. - I am outie |. .|

{ Bell Atlantic Suxs } -- |. Wednesday May 31, 2000 .| We at cliffwood.web.com have fell to the demise of the bell atlantic phone company. From what we have uncovered the New Jersey Natural Gas Company has disrupted our phone service. I am updating this site live from guam where we have set up shop until this unfortunate dilemma has been resolved. It is not a complete loss, the is a lot of liqour consumption and plentiful women. Best wishes to all from the C.C Team we will be updating this site prior to our return flight to Newark. See you then. Bye Bye |. TZA .|

{ Tuesday is Boozeday! } -- |. Wednesday, May 24, 2000 .| The weekly festival known as booze day was looking nearly dead. Hitman was locked up at work to an ungodly hour and his last minute call to AP told the truth. There was 1 person at the bar and no one from the team had been heard from. Then Hitman made an emergency call to his house to find that P-funk made contact. P-funk was informed that Hitman would return to his lair at 7pm to be picked up. P-funk arrived at Hitman's house only to find he had not yet returned. At this point P-funk was a hair away from being a bar fly. Hitman arrived in a nick of time and saved him from no return. Castar and GNX were no where to be found. Hitman and P-funk arrived to a near empty bar. The first task was calling Menace. Menace was also paged and was nowhere to be found. It was obvious that Menace and Castar had sidebar plans. GNX was spotted lurking around a dumpster by the 7-11 looking for old Playboy's. Back to the main event, by the 5th Corona the bar was full. P-funk was honed in on 4 girls sitting behind us that were hammered to the ground. While his attention was routed south, two mysterious girls pulled up shop to left of Hitman. What was even more mysterious was the fact that her cell phone was ringing and she wouldn't answer it. On the second call Hitman offered to answer the phone and she was handing it over. At the last second Hitman declined. P-funk still in a drunken detective state was eyeing the whole bar up and down. About 1/2 a beer later the cell phone girl turned to Hitman and inquired about the planned nature of the phone response. She said "What were you going to say if u answered the phone for me ?" Hitman replied "that depends on who answered, if it was a girl I would have invited her down" At this point P-funk realizes that girls are involved and pipes in drunken lude comments. During extensive apologies for P-funks raw dog attitude, Hitman realizes the accent that aided her speech. When Hitman found out that she was from Germany it was all over. All CC members realize that Hitman has strong german ties. From that point on the flood gate was open. P-funk was hooked on her Swedish friend, who was very sexy. P-funk had the whole bag of tricks open and he was in the $$ as well. In grand fashion Hitman and P-funk were entertaining European girls on their laps in good ole american fridays. After many hours of conversation and intimate moments digits flew around the bar and shots were down the hatch everything was looking good. At the end of the night P-funk disappeared with the Sweed who openly admited to being a dancer. After good night kisses were exchanged and the last drops of L.I.T.'s were gulped P-funk was hoping around the bar like Peter Cottontale. When the tab was paid up, P-funk kept mumbling something about tasteing swedish fish and the vechicle swerved all the wayhome. total outing time: 5 hours! -Later |. .| .|

{ Weekend Follies.. and a *New* Trivia Game } -- |. Monday, May 22, 2000 .| It was approx. 8:15pm on a dreary Sat. night. The CC team was riled and pent up and decided to celebrate with smashing accord. There would be 8 heads in attendance looking to own any bar in the way. Everyone responded with a huge hell yeah as the road work was being laid down for the trip to the Emerald City of booze. The plan was to meet at HQ (headquarters 4 those who don't know) at 9:30 pm. Soon it was 9:30 and only Hitman and Castar we to be found. Hitman was working furiously on a 12 pack of Coronas while Castar finished his 2nd Colt .45, 40 oz. Tza was on his way and GNX was milking the cow at the Yellow Rose Diner. It was P-funk and AP that were hindering the situation. AP claimed to have work in the A.M. but didn't return home until after 1am anyway. P-funk claimed to be ready to roll at a minutes notice but he tried to relived his glory days at the kernel's house. When Tza finally arrived he opened his trunk and poured himself some Capt. Morgan. GNX arrived solo and dropped off bobby digital the camera and bounced to Dan's lair. The amazing 8 were knocked down to the treacherous 3. Soon after Focus face, Iodaci and the false Voss showed up. The liquor was soothing everyone's throat, when a female cop shows up and starts questioning the team. The team gives her what she wants to hear and she drives away happy as hell. In the mean time Castar is chugging a 40 oz and laughing. Focus face decides to tap out and drives home, half in the bag and behind the wheel of a new car his parents provided to be the team's drunk bus. The liquor well dries up and Tza quickly speeds off to Moore's to keep the river flowing. Heads were disappearing at a rapid rate and finally at about 2:45am the team realizes the night became a waste. With everyone to blasted to operate a motor vehicle, the cars were fired up and we all sped home. For the first weekend in years there were no screaming drunk chicks, no bar fights, and no legitimate police activity. A few more nights like this can drive a guy to suicide or marriage. -Shit Site News: Trivia Game added on the comics page.. or you can CLICK HERE TO PLAY |. .|

{ Where is Everyone ? } -- |. Monday, May 15, 2000 .| There was a big blemish on this friday night. First the CC team was divided by work, women, and illness. That is only the beggining of the disaster. Hitman who was hard at work, was also working the phones, due to an unexpected party in the southern resort of Ocean Twp. Hitman arrived at a private beach house shortly after 10:30pm. Not exactly knowing everyone at the gathering, Hitman decided to play it cool and stroll in the back door. Upon entering the backdoor Hitman was greeted by some local drunks and delivered to the open keg and table of various liquors. This is when Hitman was praying for AP to arrive and mix the night away with other people's liquors. Hitman quickly realized that it was a dream so he tapped the keg's powers and mingled about this mini mansion. There was music blazing from the large living room and Hitman was lured to the sounds of DMX rocking the subwoofers. In the quazi-paradise there were many drunken girls shaking that ass like a salt shaker. Hitman not nearly far enough in the bag to dance with them enjoyed the view from the sidelines while chatting with the locals. The clock struck 11:30 when the parents of the home arrived in a total outrage, it was then Hitman grabbed a bottle of Vodka and dashed to his vechicle. Outside there were rumors running rampad about the party moving to the world famous Hunka Bunka ballroom. Hitman knew immediately he had to go. After checking with the in crowd the energy was bursting and the car was fired up. After a short cruise to Sayerville, Hitman joined up with a few of the Ocean Twp. party peoples and entered the establishment. Where much to his delight he had a great seat at the bar and enjoyed the show on the dance floor once again. The sounds of bon solid and joey enuff ripped up the threshold of pain as the subs shook the floor. The Coronas were cold, the limes fresh and the girls were hotter then the new Slim Shady LP, Everything was running smooth. It wasn't until a quarter to one that disaster struck. Hitman now with intentions of bumping and grinding was hauled against a wall as the music went off and the lights went on. The D.E.A. and the Sayerville goon squad were conducting a raid. There was mass confusion and panic. Hitman too quick for the po-po removed himself from the wall and fled towards the bathroom, and subsequently out the side exit fire door which was conveniently left open. As drunken patrons ran towards there vehicles the police were waiting for them, Hitman exited the property and crossed the street to approach his car from the opposite side. It wasn't until he was half away around the building did he notice two young officers of some sort perched like birds at the nose of the ryde. Hitman spent 2 1/2 hours in the weeds until all law enforcement officers and there hapless arrest victims were cleared from the property. It was then a very sober Hitman made his way home, clamoring about filthy shoes and pants at the expense of drug addicts. Total outing time: 5 hours. Other Team Members were doing the following which led to the demise of the past weekend 1.A.P was slingin liqour at the local Friday's makin $$$. 2.TZA would only say that he had "plans" and if we wanted him to come down we have to call him earlier in the week. 3.CaSTaR was busy the ENTIRE weekend replaying the great battles of days past. 4.P-Funk was busy this weekend ... when asked what he was doing he responded " I am having a steaming hot mug of Cocoa." 5.GnX was at the PROM all weekend with his date Marie. Sources close to the Wildwood hotel room they stayed in said his trip proved fruitless. 6.Menace was resting up for his softball extravaganza this weekend. 7.Shoq-D and The Colonel were seen but I couldn't understand what they were saying. -Later |. ConMaN .|

{ Site News } -- |. Sunday, May 14, 2000 .| I just got some quick notes about improvements to the website to add. First, the comics page is up... From time to time Team we will be posting funny pics, comics and whatever else there that makes us chuckle. Also the BEER poll was added... next week I will change it to mixed beverages.. let me know what ones should be put up there... L.I.T.'s Will ofcourse go up first. A new "MOST.Wanted" is being worked on now.. that will be up this week. Last but not least Cliffwood Chronicles is approaching 1k hits. Wooo HOOOOOO! -Later |. ConMaN .|

{ The Big NighT } -- |. Wednesday, May 10, 2000 .| It was just another matnc Monday, until the CC team was released from the work camps. Slowly anticipation ran wild when the time for the Hazlet Fridays Bar Competition was at hand. Everyone in the CC family was on hand to watch our own AP, own the competition. AP would indeed be starring in his very first bar competition. A meer rookie looking for early recognition in the bar tending world. Just for the competition AP recieved 2 hours behind locked doors with a team of Swedish massage girls. Compliments of P-funk, Castar, and Hitman. It of course was a packed house at the Friday's bar. In fact the bar seats were reserved at the hefty price of $20 bucks. P-funk and Hitman arrived early and sat in the reserved seats. Phone calls were placed to all other team members and they trickled in like a leaky faucet. One after another mesmerized by dancing beer bottles and scantilly clad girls. When the chumps arrived to claim "their seats" they were laughed at and lyrically punched in the face by Hitman and P-funk. Team CC walked in and took what belonged to another in theory. The Ultimate Ultimate Long Island Iced Teas were whizzing in and out of the cups and down the throats of a very thirsty CC Team. GNX and Castar were leading the way to a drunken heaven, only to find that Hitman beat them to it. The best part is the competition hadn't yet started at this point. The first contenda was Jodi, she was a bit scared but mixed a few drinks that brought decent wages on the black market. Each of the bar tenders final drinks were auctioned off for "charity". Some believe it was to pay for the judges. There were 3 or 4 other unknowns before AP. It actually turned out that the staff favorite was in this group. In reality the staff's wonder boy was really not impressive at all. It was evident that he had years of training, but never lived up to his potential. He got a loud pop from the crowd and lude jeers from the CC team. Hitman and GNX were going drink for drink yelling and downgrading the whole squad of bar tenders. Hitman was attacking people with chicken wings and painting there persons with hot sauce. If this wasn't bad enough, somehow Hitman aquired a pistol. A water pistol and was waving it around like a drunken criminal. Then AP took center stage and at that point nothing else mattered. The custom CD mixed by the Tza was ripping through ear drums like a hot knife through butter. AP was flipping bottles of booze like pancakes on a hot griddle. It was at this time through all the smoke and strobes that you could see the strenght being sucked out of all the other bartenders faces. It was apparent that AP had skillz beyond the imagination of every drunken patron at the bar. Even the judges were overwhelmed at the speed and accuracy which was compared to that of a King Cobra. Hitman was blasting victims with the gun of water and leading the cheers that the WHOLE bar was screaming...."LeT'S gO A.P., LeT'S gO A.P. ! " The sounds were deafening. Thunder and lightning were rocking as AP caused hurricanes with the speed of the bottle flips. It has been said that the combo of the Twin Tower like height and high RPM of the bottle flips put El Nino in a stall and is the current cause of the heat wave. The lights flashing off the Iced out Rolex and AP's platinum fangs made people confused and disorientated, totally overwhelmed by the show. For a fraction of a second it seemed that the festivities were in Yankee Stadium. It was rumored that AP's final drink went for a cool $25,000. AP had to be escorted from the bar due to the total lack of respect by the ladies. They threw panties and bras towards him, by the bathroom he was forced to sign the thong of an overweight lover. There was a proud Eggman and Tza dancing around a sombrero with an empty Jose Cuervo bottle and no worm in sight. At this point Hitman decided that one of the judges didn't see the lazer light show that Tza and AP put on, so he loaded up the pistol and went to serve justice. Hitman used two chicks as human shields and he did the dirty work. Lori and Jen begged for the judges mercy to no avail. Hitman triggered the Judge's skull 3 times and hid the weapon. Then waited for the victim to turn around, then unleashed the water flow to his head again and again. Then Hitman fled to the safe haven in the CC team corner. Where another gun battle ensued at the TGI's Coral between the Eggman and Hitman. At this time Castar wisely pointed out there is no need to blaze on team members so, Hitman blasted the girls next to the team. After a few minutes the girls realized who was getting them wet. One look at Hitman and the mystery was solved. The hot wet girls decided was time to wet Hitman's whistle so they grabbed a cup of water and splashed it all over Hitman. In a glorious celebration Tza, P-funk and Castar raised there L.I.T.'s to the sky and guzzled them. Tza was busy all night with people asking when Funk-Master had enough time to mix AP's cd, Tza grinned and signed autographs. P-Funk went about his normal business trying to sign models for GAP. Much to GNX's delight he was splashed with alchohol all night by unskilled tenders of the bar. As the moment of truth was coming on the air sparkled with anticipation, this was the wide world of bartending, the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Most of the competitors were struck with fear and anxiety. AP was glowing of confidence. Such poise has never been achieved by a rookie in such a world class competition. As the Judges deliberated somewhat of a hush fell over the bar. As the losers were read off the CC team cheered louder and louder. Every name brought AP closer to the gold. Then it happened AP was read off as the second place winner. The owner of the silver, which now we realize is a strong showing for a rookie bartender. The team started a mini riot to protest the outcome. When it was announced that AP would take over the crown if "sword" couldn't represent, the team had ideas of injuring or even striking the winner down Return of the Jedi style. It was then Team CC had to leave the building, it was decided that justice would be served in the regionals by the judges. Total Outing Time: 5 hours 38 minutes |. .|

{ A.P brings home the SILVER medal to C.C. } -- |. Tuesday, May 09, 2000 .| It was a tough contest but C.C.Team member A.P pulled off a close second place last night at the Friday's Bartender Competition. His performance was nothing short of superb ... way to go A.P. Most of the team was in attendance... and there was a suprise visit from C.C veteran EggMan. I am patiently waiting for a more detailed story to be written in from Team member HiTMaN. So as not to spoil any of his report i will cease to say anything more about the accounts of last night. -Later |. ConMaN .|

{ Hot off the press C.C.Team news } -- |. Sunday, May 07, 2000 .| Tommorow ... Monday, May 08 , 2000 .. C.C.Team member A.P will be competing in a Bartender Competition at the Hazlet Friday's. All C.C.Team member will be in attendance to cheer on the home favorite. The contest begins around 7pm EST and carries on throughout the evening. There will be prizes, a DJ, and our own member TZA has mixed some music for the main EVENT. All readers have an open invitation to stop by and meet the TEAM. Good Luck A.P !! site news: A Flash intro is currently in the works and should hit the site sometime this week. Also the TEAM would like to thank everyone for putting us over the 700 mark last week. Your visits are appreciated. Again I stress.. you can contact any TEAM member via e-mail or message board. -Later |. ConMaN .|

{ Check It! } -- |. Wednesday, May 03, 2000 .| Blam! New look again. This is the Official look of CC now. Me and Conman just got done revising the whole site. Were not even gonna ask how u like it, cause we know the new look is Phat. We are still open for any sugestions if anyone has any. E-mail us or use the CC.Message.Board if you got anthing to say. (good or bad) Later |. TZA .|